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E.M. Bell
12-22-2003, 09:11 PM
Bud Garrison posted this on my Yahoo NS Central Div group, and I though I would share it with everyone here at RP. Seems this list gets added to and changed every year :)

The Norfolk Southern (un-) Official Employee Gift Guide

With the joyous holiday season upon us, we're once again confronted with that perennial problem: "What to get the person who has everything?" Thanks to our employer, the decision is even more difficult this year. After all, when you work for "the best railroad inthe world", what more could you possibly ask for?

ARMREST EXTENDERS $29.95

These handy armrests slip over the puny stubs found on NS locomotives in seconds. Now you can spend those long nights in the siding in comfort. Special collapsible design fits easily in your grip when not in use.

"TOAD STOOL" SEAT CUSHION $14.95

Tired of sitting on NS's hard "toad stool" seats without arm rests? This handy durable cushion is made of weather resistant nylon with the NS logo embossed on each side so you too can sit on the donkey in comfort! Perfect for those long nights in the sidings and those who have less padding on their caboose. Folds to a compact 6" by 6" for your grip. Not for use on Conrail engines equipped with hi back reclining seats.

STINK BUSTER $5.95

This handy spray can eliminates most odours found in NS engine cabs, especially that common "stale urine" smell. A must have for all yard and road crews, it disinfects as it freshens the air. Order within the next 30 minutes and receive two cans for the price of one!

SH*T KIT $9.95

Don't ever get caught out in the woods after Mexican night again! This complete kit features 10 florescent orange numbered bags, 10 "just enough" squares of one ply tissue, and 10 "quick tie" baggy ties. Toilet paper is made from 100 % recycled paper and features the NS donkey in non soluble ink on each square! "Stink Buster" sold separately.

CAUTION: Bags may present a suffocation hazard and are not to be used as Christmas ornaments for trees along the right of way.

"T.Y.E.S. FOR DUMMIES" HANDBOOK $24.95

This handy 2,345 page manual provides step-by-step instructions to guide you through the new Thoroughbred Yard Enterprise System (or T.Y.E.S.) labyrinth. Once again, you'll be able to access the basic information required to process your many mishandling penalties.

Covers "Atlanta Real Time," "Crew Call," and other systems. A special "hacker's chapter" provides valuable "how to" tips for getting those "locked-out" personal days. A must for sharpshooters, this book is also the perfect gift for the "caller without a clue" in your life!!

CAB SIGNAL COVER $9.95

Now you can avoid that "staring into a laser pointer" feeling you get from those old Conrail GP-40's, SD40-2's, and other late model units. This convenient cover slips on in seconds and folds into a compact 2" by 6" carrying case. Also covers those annoying flickering penalty lights. CAUTION: Not for use in cab-signal territory.

CAB SIGNAL KIT $19.95

Now you don't have to wait for cab signal equipped engines ever again! This handy kit replicates the cab signal "Christmas tree" and it's magnetic backing affixes to most engine walls in seconds. Authentic position lights flicker different cab signal aspects at random.

Instantly adds cab signals to older engines or adds cab signal realism to lines not equipped with cab signals. Operates with two AA batteries sold separately. CAUTION: Seller not liable for accuracy of indications provided, use at your own risk.

NS E.O.T. / H.O.T. KIT $9.95

Tired of waiting for your E.O.T. to link to the H.O.T. at your initial terminal? Save time with this handy kit featuring 25 pre-printed stick on labels for NS style H.O.T.s. Each label features brake pipe pressure and "LNK" indications so you can leave quicker and wait for a relief crew a few miles ahead. Perfect for those crews who are in a hurry to return home or when the yard has run out of engines and telemetry devices. Not for use in C40-9, C40- 9W, or newer Conrail engines equipped with "Integrated Function Displays."

ALERTOR HELPER $14.95

If your favorite engineer is a bit on the rotund side, here's a gift he can really use! The "alertor helper" straps to your leg and allows you to acknowledge the alertor on NS locomotives without bending over. Made from high-quality rubber, with leather straps.

Also available for older GP50, GP38, & SD40 models equipped with push button alertors, please specify model when ordering.

INSPIRATIONAL POSTER $5.95

Feeling disgruntled or sluggish about completing the tasks at hand? Simply affix this poster of the new top brass to the cab of your engine and you're ready to go again!! Features inspirational slogans "Everything is getting better," at top and "NS: The Big Donkey of Transportation" at bottom. Kit includes both magnets and double sided tape for easy mounting. Our best seller, supplies are limited!

NS EAR MUFFS

Perfect for those old NS and CR engines which have the horn located above the cab, these muffs block out most sounds. Perfect for that hogger who blows the horn all night long. Eliminates 99% of that annoying "horn ringing in your ears" syndrome after a 12 hour trip and lets you sleep better at night! Available only in NS black.

NS CLERICAL GIFT SET $29.95

Set includes 100 lined forms printed on recycled paper, handy car counter, and one number two pencil for logging cars at yards where the computer system still isn't working properly. All items feature the company logo. DELUXE SET -for only $49.95- includes a thin rain poncho and collapsible stool, perfect for sitting at the yard throat on a rainy day. HURRY,
order now in time for Christmas, quantities very limited!

NS PAYROLL GIFT SET $29.95

Handsome boxed gift set includes over 100 "good arbitrary claims," red ink pad, and special "declined" rubber stamp! Hours of fun declining "good claims," for your favorite payroll timekeeper. Also makes a great gift for your local transportation supervisor!

2004 LIMITED EDITION "RAILROAD RUSH HOUR" PUZZLE $24.95

Like the generic version found in stores, the object of this board game is to get your engines and cars out of the grid locked freight yard. However, the cars and engines in this special edition are decorated in authentic Conrail, Norfolk Southern and CSX paint schemes.

Compact design fits easily in your grip. A stimulating and challenging way to pass the hours while waiting for your relief.

CLEARANCE! 1997 Union Pacific special editions are still available, only $14.99

PIN BALL FREIGHT CAR GAME $29.95

A perfect companion to the "Railroad Rush Hour" Puzzle, this hand held game simulates the NS car routing computer as a mini pin ball machine. The player pulls back on the lever, releases it and watches as one of five balls with reporting marks bounces from bumper to bumper, while trying to prevent the ball from reaching it's destination at bottom. Each bumper has the name of the major NS terminals on it. Score mega points when the car
balls bounce back & forth between terminals. Keeps top five scores in its history display.

Four AA batteries sold separately.

RAILROAD BINGO $19.95

This fun filled kit features 25 laminated game cards with the names of locomotive leasing companies NS has leased engines from printed in the grids. Simply mark down the engine in the appropriate grid space as they scurry by your parked train to achieve Railroad Bingo! Kits includes 5 dry erase markers so the cards may be reused. NOTE: May take several trips to achieve a "Railroad Bingo."

LIMITED EDITION NS MODEL RAILROAD $99.95**

This model representation of the real deal comes complete with 500 freight cars, two black engines, 20 feet of jointed rail, and several signal bridges. Loads of fun the whole family can enjoy, spend hours assembling trains, then set the signals to stop and you're railroadin' like the pros do it! Recommended for ages 8 & up.

**LOUISVILLE TERMINAL YARD ADD ON KIT -only $49.95- adds another 200 freight cars, one switch, and an additional 10 feet of jointed rail for those who need an extra challenge.

CONRAIL PAINT $5.99 per gallon

Each gallon of authentic Conrail Blue is from Dupont's high quality Emron Line of paints. Perfect for the modeler on your list, home improvement projects, or touching up your vehicle. Environmentally friendly, lead free paint offers years of durable protection.

NS HOLIDAY SWEATSHIRT $14.99

Just in time for Christmas, this festive sweatshirt features a full-color picture of Ebenezer Scrooge uttering his immortal line "Bah, humbug!" Below him is the slogan "NS: Where Christmas is just another workday". Available only in NS black.

NS HOLIDAY TOTE BAG $14.99

Take your presents with you when you get called out on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day! Attractive green, red, and black, sturdy nylon tote holds approximately 10 presents for use at the away from home terminal or en route to your destination. BONUS: Includes 5 minute pre paid calling card so you can tell the family you don't know when you'll be back!

NS SWISS ARMY KNIFE $29.95

With 2004 just around the corner, this could be the handiest gift of all. Handsomely embossed with the NS logo, the knife features two knife blades, a can opener, a fish scaler, two screwdrivers, tweezers, pliers, and a special "radio and E.O.T." tool.

WEED WEASEL NIGHT VISION $149.95

Perfect for all yard and road crews, these handy goggles turn night in to day and allow you to spot that pesky train master hiding in the bushes before he spots you!

CAUTION: not for daylight use.

Happy Holidays!

Trainman51
12-23-2003, 04:10 PM
But how do i order

battalion51
12-24-2003, 07:08 PM
Those item descriptions are great! Sounds like you guys have some really fine equipment over there on the NS. :lol: